Cupidity Read online

  ‘Martha, I am not staying long. I have come to do one thing only and then I am on my way.’

  Martha brought the cups over to the dining table and sat down. ‘What’s the matter, Jane? This seems serious? Has something happened?’

  Jane snapped at her. ‘Of course, something’s happened, Martha. Your husband died and now you can barely keep a home going for you and Willy. I’m sorry. I just feel so helpless. Here I am with no worries like that but with nothing to spend it on and here you are with a world of responsibility and no income or help to lighten the load.

  I’ve come to help. I am going to give you some money. To help you both get by.’

  Martha didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ‘I don’t... I don’t need your money’ she stumbled.

  ‘Yes, you do, Martha. You need it much more than I do and so I am going to help you. I don’t want a song and dance made about it, just let me help, will you?’

  With that Jane and Martha agreed an arrangement where Jane would send her the money she needed to survive every month. Partly she was relieved. She had been struggling for months. Her Dad wasn’t nearby to help, not that he would be much help these days, Susannah was working seventy odd miles away and Jane just wasn’t around. Even today, although she visited she didn’t seem like she was there. It was as if her mind was on other things. She had arrived and left in what seemed like a flash but once the day’s events had sunk in, Martha couldn’t help but feel Jane had her own battles going on.

  Martha slowly came to and realised that she was still in the café and that Evelyn had been chatting away, but she hadn’t heard any of it. She hoped Evelyn hadn’t noticed as she hadn’t intended to be rude.

  ‘Well I must be off’ said Evelyn, ‘I am visiting my son and I don’t want to be late.’

  Martha thanked Evelyn for what had been a lovely hour or so. She wanted to ask Evelyn if she was local. She quite fancied them being friends. She almost saw Evelyn as a mother figure in that split second and thought how beautiful it would be to have a friend that could take pity on her and lend her an empathetic shoulder from time to time. The hour they had just shared was mainly passing the time of day, talking about Willy and such.

  Martha wished she had asked Evelyn more questions and regretted being selfish with the opportunity that she had been given. Evelyn stood and put her small silk scarf on around her neck and picked up her coat. It was quite cold outside but not as chilly as it had been, so she didn’t have the need for it. She picked up her bag and patted Willy on the head and said her goodbyes. Martha told her how lovely it was to have met and instantly felt empty as she walked away. Martha stared into space. She had been pleasantly distracted by Evelyn and now she was left with her thoughts again.

  Suddenly she regained focus and turned to the table where Willy was happily entertaining himself. Martha noticed that Evelyn had left money on the table for the tea and biscuits. She felt terrible that she hadn’t noticed and looked out of the window, but Evelyn was gone.

  Nowhere to be seen. Martha felt even worse now. She hoped Evelyn didn’t think ill of her. She liked Evelyn and had enjoyed sitting with her.

  Chapter 3

  ‘Good evening and welcome to your news bulletin on this day May 7th, 1944, with me, Roger Stephens. Tonight’s main story is that a body has been found on the outskirts of Henley. Formal identification is yet to take place, but police have confirmed that the death was indeed murder. Currently they do not know who they are looking for but have asked the public to remain vigilant after what they have described as an act of brutality. Should you have any concerns or think you may have any information regarding this incident, please contact your local police station immediately.’

  The radio was on while the two friends, Martha and Mae set up the table for breakfast. It was a good-sized breakfast room although quite dimly lit. Mae and Peter could afford the more delicate things in life due to his wealthy background. They put out a pot of tea and some wholemeal toast. Although Peter and Mae experienced less hardship than most of the families locally, they had to make do with rationing the best they could. The boys were running around the house together playing as if they were airplanes and crashing down onto the floor. The two women called the boys through and sat them at the table.

  ‘Now boys, a piece of toast each with marmalade on and no fussing. That’s all there is until lunchtime so eat it up and I don’t want to see a single crumb left over.’

  Willy looked terrified of Mae’s dominance, but he picked up his toast without a sound. Charlie wolfed his down like it was going out of fashion. The two ladies took themselves to the back door with their cups of tea and went for a cigarette.

  ‘I tell you what Martha, I don’t know about you but having Willy here to play with Charlie is working out to be a bit of a godsend. I haven’t had a cigarette in peace for ages.’

  ‘It’s only been one night and this morning Mae, I wouldn’t get too ahead of yourself just yet. You’ll regret asking us to move in soon enough, I’m sure.’

  Mae put her hand on Martha’s arm. ‘Don’t be silly Martha, what are you like? This is going to be great. You can’t manage on your own, we have the room and I could do with the company. We’ll be fine, you’ll see. Plus, you’ll be snapped up again one day, living with a man again and wishing you were still living with me so best to make the most of it eh.’

  The two women laughed and knew Mae could well be right, right about both points.

  That afternoon Martha and Mae went out for a stroll with the boys. ‘Isn’t it funny Martha how much we have changed? Remember back in the day where we would go out looking for boys and here we are with a boy each of our own. I guess I’ve still got my Peter and you don’t have Johnny anymore, but he’d be proud of you. He’d be glad you moved in with Peter and me.’

  Martha wasn’t quite so sure about that but what Martha was sure of was that Mae hadn’t changed. She was still thoughtless with what came out of her mouth but she was always there for Martha when she needed her. Mae said she needed to pop into the car garage to say hello to her friend and as usual Martha just went with the flow and allowed Mae to take the lead as she had done for the last twenty- something years of their lives. Martha was always in Mae’s shadow. ‘Hello, David, how are you?’

  A man not too dissimilar in age to them looked up from a greasy engine.

  ‘Hello ladies, Mae, how are you?’

  ‘Very well thank you, David. David, this is Martha; Martha, this is David.’

  Martha smiled but blushed furiously. Maybe she blushed so furiously because she was furious. How could Mae do this? It was her first day staying with them and already she was trying to pair her off with someone. Johnny had been gone a couple of years, but she was not interested in anyone else. She began regretting moving in with her straight away and wondered if she had made a terrible mistake. Mae could be so insensitive sometimes, insensitive and so bloody interfering. She felt a wave of emotion rise inside her, her temperature got hotter and she felt like she was going to burst into tears. With that, she told Mae that she was going to show the two boys something outside and she took their hands and they walked off. There wasn’t anything to show the boys, so she instantly felt that was a stupid move, but who cared? Maybe she should just tell Mae to her face that she knew it looked stupid walking off but she was not up for sale. They weren’t teenagers anymore. She couldn’t pair her off again. She managed it successfully once but now he was dead, she was heartbroken and no one would ever replace Johnny. Mae came out looking defiant as always.

  ‘What was that about, Martha? You made yourself look quite silly I think.’

  A rage grew inside of Martha.

  ‘Quite silly? Quite silly? Is it silly to not want to be forced to go on a date? Is it silly for me to make my move when the time suits me and that’s if I ever want to again? This is not your choice. This is my life. Stop trying to get me to be like you.’

  Martha turned away and stroked her head. That was two peopl
e she had had a go at, in as many days, and although both occasions left her shaking, both of those occasions felt quite liberating and empowering. She didn’t want to be pushed around anymore.

  ‘I’m sorry, Martha, that you don’t have Johnny anymore. I am sorry you have had to be on your own, but you are barking up the wrong tree, lady. David has a girlfriend. It just so happened he was the first person I have seen this morning that I know, so I thought I would introduce you. I was only trying to help you fit in. I will ignore your insults on this occasion, but I can’t promise I will if you do it again, so take that as your warning and stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself. This is a new chance for you. A fresh start. I was only trying to help.’

  Mae stopped talking. She was breathing so heavily that her breasts looked as though they were going to burst out of her over tight, ill-fitting dress. Martha struggled to take her seriously because she was so distracted by her ridiculous cleavage.

  On the way back she thought about what Mae had said. Martha felt terrible. Was she that self -centered? Has she always been that way? Have people thought that of her for a long time and it’s taken Mae, of all people, to point it out?

  ‘I’m sorry Mae. I… I… I just thought you were trying to…’,

  ‘I know what you thought I was trying to do; you have made that quite clear and I accept your apology. Now come on, let’s go and have some tea and get these boys some lunch.’

  With that Mae rounded up the boys and they all walked home, with Martha feeling downcast and compunctious.

  The ladies arrived back with the boys and Peter was home. He was high up in the army now, Martha wasn’t sure how high up probably because Mae didn’t seem to know and Martha didn’t like to pry. Due to his position, he was home a bit more than he used to be which Mae had said was a blessing and a curse. Charlie saw his Daddy and shrieked with excitement.

  ‘DADDY. DADDY. DADDY.’

  Mae continued to go about what she was doing and eventually stopping for a millisecond to kiss him on the lips and then carried on as she was. Peter acknowledged Martha and leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek while holding Charlie on his hip. She noticed he was wearing aftershave. She hadn’t been close enough to a man to smell it in years. He was always very groomed and Martha liked that in a man.

  ‘How are you settling in Martha, have you got everything you need?’ ‘Yes, thank you, Peter, it’s different but we are both very grateful and happy to be here, aren’t we Willy?’

  She spoke while looking down at her son. Peter had such captivating eyes which she had forgotten about until now. She never did like to look into them for too long. Willy was looking up at Peter while holding onto his mother’s skirt, almost burying his face in it, and sucking his thumb.

  ‘And how are you, young Willy? My, don’t you look big and strong just like your Dad? He would be so proud of you, looking after your

  Mummy the way you do. I hope Charlie is being good and sharing his toys with you?’

  ‘Yes, I am Daddy’

  Charlie didn’t miss a trick and was desperate for his father’s approval. He was giggling and looking at his father adoringly. ‘I’m a good boy just like you told me to be.’

  ‘And that’s exactly what Daddy wants to hear, Charlie, and seeing as I am home for a few days, if you continue to be a good boy, I might take you both fishing down by the stream, how does that sound?’

  Peter lowered Charlie down and revealed that he didn’t have the strength to hold a stocky three-year-old for a prolonged period.

  They both rejoiced and made it clear that they would both like that very much.

  ‘Ok well off you go and play and we will maybe go down there tomorrow.’

  ‘Yay, tomorrow. Fishing. Fishing.’

  They both seemed to speak almost in unison. Of all the things Martha felt since moving in with Mae and Peter, the best thing was seeing her boy happy. He was always a good boy with such a sweet and gentle nature. He had coped very well when it was just the two of them but now seeing him so happy with a companion of his own, she knew it would do him so much good and if she was honest, it was good for her to live with a friend too.

  Although Mae hadn’t given Peter much attention that morning, choosing to busy herself with household duties which seemed to be her highest priority, no one could deny she was a good mother and a good wife, but she seemed emotionally distant from Peter. Martha had observed them over the last couple of hours. Mae was preparing some lunch for them all while Martha sat at the table and prepared the evening's vegetables.

  Mae was looking in the larder and Peter had come up behind her and put his arms around her waist and began kissing her neck. She didn’t push him off, but she didn’t seem thrilled either if anything she didn’t change. Martha thought how she would love to have that intimacy again. Maybe it’s because she was there and Mae didn’t feel relaxed around her? She went to check on the boys in the other room, just to give them a minute to themselves really, but she found herself listening in to what they were saying.

  ‘God I’ve missed you. I’ve missed the way you look, the way you dress, your smell, your breasts, that bottom…’

  ‘Oh for heaven’s sake Peter, put me down. It’s only been three weeks’, said a dismissive sounding Mae.

  Martha could hear what sounded like Peter kissing Mae, while talking in between.

  ‘Three weeks… it seems like a lifetime… d’you know what else has been three weeks. Three weeks since I got to feel you…feel your warmth… kiss you all over… slide into you…’

  ‘Right Peter that is enough, Martha and the boys are in the other room.’

  Then there was silence and Martha realised that maybe they knew she had been listening and began to feel rather awkward. Then she heard them again.

  ‘Look you dirty beggar, we will continue this later so for the time being keep your hands to yourself.’

  Martha then realised that Mae did love Peter, but she must not like to show it in front of people. She was glad that everything was ok if not a bit disappointed that Mae was getting something tonight that she was not.

  She pretended to play with the boys in the front room.

  ‘Oh, look, a big red fire engine.’ she said, pretending to be interested and trying to ignore her feelings of arousal which was infuriating and frustrating.

  She hadn’t felt aroused in years and now her friend being reunited with her husband and listening to their private conversation was enough to fire her up. She was beginning to wish David from the garage was single, even if it was just for one night. While in this somewhat frenzied trance, Charlie had been telling Martha how much he would like to be a fireman but he was interrupted by his Dad.

  ‘That’s wonderful Charlie, but perhaps Martha would like to come and play with the grownups now and leave you boys to play like boys?’

  Martha looked around over her shoulder and saw Peter standing there in the door. He winked at her.

  ‘Play?’ She said feeling confused.

  What did he mean play? Yes, she was aroused but suddenly not so much. Were they doing that in the kitchen on purpose so she could hear and now they wanted her to join in?

  ‘Yes play. I've brought a bottle of something strong, one of the chaps from work gave it to me, thought it would be a nice way to welcome you to our home.’

  He looked extremely tall from a sitting down position and quite dashing in his work gear. She decided that Mae was very lucky and she was happy for her friend to have everything she could want and need. She also realised that she had been staring at Peter and hadn’t said anything. Peter put out his hand.

  ‘Come on, I’ll help you up.’

  With that, she got to her feet and left the room. Peter put his arm around her and told her that although she was Mae’s friend, she was his friend too and that she should feel very at home and she shouldn’t feel like she must play with the boys and keep out of their way. They went into the kitchen where Peter poured them all a drink and they all lit u
p a cigarette.

  The alcohol tingled through Martha’s body. She couldn’t remember the last time she had had any due to lack of income and rations. She could remember, however, a number of times she’d wished she’d had some.

  Peter and Mae were in a strong financial position because of his work and family money; they still had to be careful, but they were certainly more comfortable than most. They had a few drinks and caught up on old times and Martha relaxed and enjoyed herself more than she had in a long time. They sat around the table and Martha was taking it all in. She was giggling at the stories Mae reminded her of from when they were kids that she had completely forgotten about.

  She watched in awe at how loving Peter was with Mae and wished she could have what they had. The way he would occasionally put his arm around her while regaling them with one of his stories from the army, the way he would put his hand over hers on the table, the way he tended to her every need and she wondered if Mae could see it for herself.

  Martha and Johnny had a very loving relationship but the strain of him being in the lower ranks of the army and having a child meant they never had a lot of money. Even before Willy came along, they didn’t have a lot of money. They had both wanted their independence and so had moved out and began renting a property as soon as they were married which was a stretch but they didn’t complain and rarely argued, they just wanted to be together in their own space.

  Martha wondered if they had had the beginnings that Peter and Mae had, what their relationship would’ve been like. Johnny always wanted to have more. He often told Martha he would give her the world if he could but that one day, she would have everything. He would still buy her flowers and make her little gifts which she loved and she kept all of them although she hadn’t been able to look at any of them since he passed.

  After the boys had been fed the women bathed them and got them ready for bed.

  ‘You must be so glad to have Peter home. I didn’t realise he would be back today?’