Cupidity Page 5

  Joe was a hardworking man. He was brought up in a house of love and most of the time, he was the kind of man that kept his head down. He was a respected man. He didn’t have much concerning wealth, but he had his integrity and that was something he held very dear and he would not let that wretched boy, Simon, break him. He would just have to support his family the best he could, but deep down he wished that his family didn’t include Simon. A tiny piece of him, buried deep within him, disliked Simon for making him hate Simon. He never thought he would have a child like Simon, he thought he would be a stern parent who could control his children, but Simon could not be controlled by anyone, and Joe was ashamed of himself for that. For what he considered to be, his failings.

  Joe couldn’t stop the way Simon behaved. He couldn’t mend Evelyn’s heart. He couldn’t tell his other two children that everything would be okay but there was one thing Joe could do. He could talk. He was a man of few words, but everyone that knew him thought him a decent man and because of that he always got their full attention, people listened to him. Joe told Evelyn he would meet with the headmaster and see if they would reconsider taking Simon back.

  Evelyn didn’t know what Joe had said to the school, but whatever it was, it was enough for them to take him back on a managed plan basis. They had agreed that Simon could go to school three days a week and on the other days, Tuesdays and Thursdays, he was to be schooled at home to the best of Evelyn’s ability. This benefitted everyone concerned, no more than Simon himself who once again was being rewarded for his cruelty and got precisely what he wanted – time out from normal life.

  The family had hoped that this plan might work for Simon and that the time removed from society might calm his erratic and psychotic behaviour. This was not to be the case. He became more empowered when people gave up on him. He thought he was winning. As the years went on, people would pass Evelyn in the street and give her an awkward smile or a wave but always choosing not to get too close because she was the mother of ‘that god-awful boy.'

  As the time passed and Simon went from a boy to a young man the calls from the school were replaced with calls from the police. Simon managed to escape severe punishment for a few years, only guilty of a petty crime. Evelyn and Joe became more and more distant due to the shame that Simon brought upon their family. Simon’s siblings distanced themselves from Simon because they couldn’t be near him without fear. Then one evening their lives were to change forever.

  The knock at the door was a typical policeman’s knock. They’d heard it enough times to know and a jolly visitor doesn’t deliver such an assertive knock. Joseph and Evelyn put down the books they had been reading, sitting across from each other in their dated living room and looked at each other. Joseph sighed. Evelyn’s heart sank. What on earth could it be this time? Not even their biggest fears could prepare them for what they were about to be told.

  ‘I’ll go love,' said Joe slowly rising from his chair and patting Evelyn on the shoulder as he made his way out of the room.

  ‘Evening Mr. Paterson’, said Officer Clarke.

  ‘Evening officer, what’s he done now then?’

  The two men knew each other well. They weren’t friends, but they had met in circumstances like this on several occasions now. Officer Clarke looked at Joe and held his stare for a moment.

  ‘I think we’d better go inside Mr. Paterson, let’s get you seated.’ Joseph opened the door fully for the Officer and gestured for him to come in.

  Officer Clarke removed his hat and held it to his chest. He made his way into the living room and greeted Evelyn.

  He looked at an empty chair and said, ‘May I?’

  ‘Yes of course. Would you like some tea?’ replied Evelyn.

  Officer Clarke knew this was not going to be easy. He did not want to have to deliver the news and accepting tea, although he could do with it on this evening, would prolong the agony. Best just to get on with it, he thought.

  ‘No Mrs. Paterson, I won’t on this occasion, I think it’s best we just get to the point of my visit. What I am about to tell you is not going to come easily. We’ve met on occasions like this many times now over the years, but I’m afraid this time it is much more serious. When I ask you both some questions following what I am about to tell you I will need you to be completely honest with me, do you understand?’

  He had Joe and Evelyn’s full attention and they agreed with a silent nod and Joe taking Evelyn’s hand and slowly rubbing it.

  ‘Mr. and Mrs. Paterson, we are looking for your son Simon. We believe he has been seen… we need to question him about...’

  The officer struggled with what he needed to say. He knew Joe and Evelyn were good people, he knew their two other children were decent people, but he knew Simon was a different breed. He wished he could make it easy on them, he knew this was to be a devastating blow, but he also had a job to do and get on with it he must.

  ‘Mr. and Mrs. Paterson…’ he lowered his voice, ‘we believe Simon has committed murder.’

  He paused and waited for their reaction. Evelyn looked up at Joe who was sitting on the arm of her chair. Her face faded to white instantly. Her eyes filled with tears and she began to shake. Joe stood up and walked to the window. He had his back to the others and put his head in his hands.

  The room was silent for a couple of minutes. The silence had never been so loud. Evelyn could hear her heart beating in her ears. It was pumping so hard it was like her head was under water. Officer Clarke broke the silence.

  ‘Mr. and Mrs. Paterson, do you understand what I have told you? I’m afraid this is very serious. I appreciate it will take some time to sink in. I do, however, need to ask you some questions when you are ready.’

  Joe turned around to face them, one hand on his hip and the other rubbing his forehead.

  ‘Go on then, let’s begin’ he said shakily, ‘And just call me Joe.’ ‘Very well, Joe, when was the last time you saw Simon?’

  ‘Um, yesterday morning I think…’ he stammered.

  ‘Joe, it is extremely important we get this right. I know you are in shock so please don’t rush, take your time and think as clearly as you can, ok?’

  ‘Ok, ok I was leaving for work and he passed me on the upstairs landing, he was going for a bath.’

  ‘And you haven’t seen him since then?’ asked Officer Clarke delicately.

  ‘No, no I don’t think so. He comes and goes these days. We don’t ask too much. You know what he is like Officer. He’s not worth talking to most of the time.’

  ‘Ok and how did he look to you, Joe?’

  ‘I didn’t pay much attention. He looked his normal self I think. We didn’t speak; he went about his business in his usual manner, head looking down and despondent you could say.’

  Officer Clarke looked at Evelyn who looked exhausted and ill. ‘Evelyn, what about you? When did you see him last?’

  She spoke almost in a whisper, ‘I couldn’t tell you, I mean we can’t keep tabs on him, you know what he’s like…’ She started to become distressed, as if the officer thought badly of her for not knowing Simon’s movements, but the officer didn’t think that of her at all.

  ‘Evelyn, try to remain calm if you can. We just need to put together some pieces. We are looking for Simon as we speak, assuming he is not here, and I wanted to be the one to come and tell you myself and to… and to confirm his recent whereabouts. To confirm…’

  He paused and looked at Joe and then Evelyn.

  ‘And to confirm he… he doesn’t have an alibi, do you understand?’

  Joe could tell that this was something that Evelyn could not cope with, he would have to take control of this horrific situation and tell the officer the truth, get him out of the house and let them both digest what was being told to them.

  ‘Officer Clarke, I can tell you we have not bloody seen Simon and if you are saying that he…that he has done this horrific act, then you must get on with your job and find him. He has no alibi here. The… boy… the m
an… whatever he is must be treated in the way you people treat criminals and allow this to be dealt with. Just bloody find him and do what must be done...’

  His voice was raised and assertive.

  ‘We all know he is not right; I can’t stand here and defend him, I mean we never thought it would come to this but, what did we think he would amount to? He’s not human and never bloody has been.’ Joe said exasperatedly.

  Evelyn began sobbing louder now.

  ‘Joe, I can assure you, we will find your son.’

  ‘Don’t call him my son... He is a bloody animal and I want nothing to do with him. Enough is enough, that boy has ruined this family. He’s ruined our lives for years now. My children’s lives. He’s tested our marriage. Just get him locked up and throw away the bloody key.’

  Evelyn fled the room in tears.

  Officer Clarke went on to tell Joe that Simon was believed to be responsible for the murder of a local man who was younger than him and who had special needs. They think he went for him because he was vulnerable. Both families knew each other. They weren’t friends though. They weren’t friends with anyone anymore because of Simon.

  Everyone thought he was a monster and so the locals isolated the family. Officer Clarke told Joe that they believed Simon had stabbed the man to death, the man was known as Stephen Donald. He said to him that the attack was unprovoked and that Simon had mugged his victim, it was an act of sheer brutality and that the body discovered was one of the most shocking things he had seen in his career. Officer Clarke warned Joe that life might become difficult for them as a family due to this horrific crime and they should think about their options as to staying in the village. He suggested if they had somewhere else to go then they might want to do that.

  Everything Officer Clarke said was heard by Joe in an almost dream- like trance. He could hear him, but it sounded echo-like. He tried to take it all in, but he was struggling with it. He could hear the key words loudly, ringing in his ears;

  ‘Murder. Horrific. Unprovoked. Revenge. Move away’.

  How could they move? He thought. He didn’t earn much these days and they had inherited the house they lived in, they just couldn’t afford to up sticks and leave but he, of course, understood why Officer Clarke had recommended it. Officer Clarke was in the Paterson’s house for about three hours but when Joe saw him out and closed the door, time stood still. He put his back to the door and slid down to the ground with bended knees.

  That was an evening Evelyn would never forget.

  For a long time, they were shunned by the local community. Their other two children found new paths in life and left the village. Their parents didn’t blame them. Joe and Evelyn struggled on but Joe was to die of a heart attack and leave Evelyn on her own a few years later. She always believed that Simon caused the death of him. He was never the same after that night. He was broken, defeated, crushed and with no life in his eyes.

  On the day he had the heart attack, she found him in his chair. It was too late and nothing could be done. They had a funeral, the two children attended and much to Evelyn’s surprise some of the locals came as well, mainly people Joe had worked with or had done DIY jobs for but they didn’t speak to the family. Evelyn knew they had come to pay their respects and that was it. She wasn’t going to beg for their friendship or understanding.

  After the funeral, she rarely saw the two older children and with Simon being locked away she was completely alone. Doctors believed Simon to be mentally disturbed and had him locked up in a secure hospital for life.

  The only bit of luck that Evelyn had was another lot of inheritance came in and so she was able to buy a house somewhere else and start again. The new home was closer to where Simon was being kept and quite some distance from the town she had spent most of her life in.

  For the next several years, her life became more pleasant as she could hide her dark secret from her new neighbours and she began to feel happiness again. She would visit Simon once a year, that was all she could manage. It was too distressing for her and would take her weeks to recover, but she was incapable of abandoning him completely, despite his complete lack of care or even respect for her when she visited.

  Chapter 5

  Martha woke up to clattering noises coming from the kitchen.

  It sounded like everyone was up apart from her. She took a minute to sit upright and accept the new day ahead of her. Her head felt fuzzy; she could tell she had a drink last night. She rubbed her forehead and thought how disgusting her mouth tasted after too many cigarettes and alcohol from the night before.

  These were trivial thoughts. She was trying to block out her main thought and that was, Peter. She couldn’t ignore it anymore. She couldn’t ignore what had happened in bed the night before. What she had done and who she had thought of. He was going to stick around in her thoughts and she needed to figure out why.

  Martha wasn’t the sort of person to ignore something like that. She would enquire and enquire again and again into her mind until she could figure out what was happening. She would torment herself looking for a rational explanation and the hope that it was a one-off. It was the alcohol she told herself.

  In her mind, she had betrayed her husband and her friend with her illicit thoughts last night. Two of the most important people to her and she betrayed them both. Her mind was going wild with questions.

  Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was loneliness, maybe it was because I could hear them having sex. Yes, maybe hearing them having sex made me think I was having sex with Johnny but I was interrupted by their noise which is why I pictured Peter, she asked herself, desperately trying to find an answer that she was happy with. The truth is, if she was completely honest with herself, there was one clear and bold as day answer. It was screaming out for her and she was trying to bury it with other questions in her mind to avoid it.

  Her question was why did I picture Peter while I was doing that to myself, to the sound of him and Mae having sex last night? The answer was because she felt there was a spark between the two of them. She knew it was wrong and she didn’t want a spark. Mae was all she had for crying out loud. But she knew it and she knew that he felt it too. The feeling she got from him, however, was that the guilt belonging to their desires didn’t reside in him. He loved Mae, Martha didn’t doubt that, but the two women were very different and all three of them knew that Mae didn’t love Peter like she used to. Mae had probably grown bored of him in classic Mae fashion. She would never leave him but she loved him on her terms. It could be turned on and off like a switch.

  Mae was like that with everyone and sadly her own husband was no exception to the rule. Most women they knew would bow down to their husbands. They would care for them, appreciate them, cook for them, keep the house a home for them, make love to them on their say so and most women would be happy to be a wife, but Mae had always been overconfident and didn’t need anyone. Everything was on her terms and although she would carry out her wifely duties, it was generally because there was something in it for her. All that aside, Mae didn’t deserve the thoughts that were going on under that roof.

  Although Martha hadn’t asked Peter, she knew she didn’t have to. He felt it, just like she did. He was overconfident just like his wife so he would assume naturally that Martha would want him, desire him and respect him but she was certain that he desired her also. It hadn’t been that clear at first, she had only been there a few days, but even within those short hours she spent in Peter’s presence, she now knew that he had had improper thoughts about the two of them. Martha sighed. This just wouldn’t do. The house move was meant to make life easier for them all and now everything felt more complicated than ever.

  She took her hands under her blankets again and began exploring her body once more. The troubling factor was that although she knew it was very wrong for her to have sexual thoughts about Peter, she now realised that she longed to be intimate with a man.

  As she stroked her breasts, she longed to be held by str
ong arms. Her nipples became erect. She craved soft kisses on her neck while moving her hands down her soft, smooth stomach. She longed for her hair to be stroked during an embrace and so, she ran her fingers through her hair. She longed for hot, passionate kisses. She inserted her fingers. She desired for the weight of a man on top of her and began to pleasure herself. Imagining how much she longed to be thrown about in bed, she began to fantasise. What she wouldn’t give for that intense passion.

  Her body became warmer. She wanted to feel a hard man inside of her and as she did so she became wetter. She longed for the thrusting so she created her own, rocking her hips gently. She longed for the heavy breathing. She was heavy breathing now. She longed for her nipples to be sucked. Her body was tingling all over. She longed for big hands around her tiny waist pulling her closer towards him. She gently pulled her own hair. She longed to let him take the lead and for her to be powerless. She was very much in the lead. She longed to hold him tight with her legs wrapped around him.

  She brought her knees up while her fingers caressed her clitoris. She needed to kiss him heavily. She wanted to scream now. She longed to scratch her nails down his back. She was getting very close. She longed to tell him she wanted more. She did want more. She longed to whisper how hard he was in his ear. She wanted that. She longed to move her hips with his. Her fingers would have to make do. She longed to tell him she was almost there. She whispered that bit out loud. She longed for those last few final hard thrusts. She longed to tell Peter she had come.

  Martha lay there silently in ecstasy. She felt alive. She hadn’t felt like this for what seemed like forever. She was blocking out her conscience while lying there just trying to enjoy the euphoria for a moment. Her breathing had calmed down and temperature slowly went back to normal. She had better get up, she thought.